paint_pants's Xanga

starting over for a while

Tue, 20 May 2008 23:52:37 GMT

I'm trying something new :)
http://paintpants.blogspot.com/

I won't be completely gone from xanga- it has served me well.... but I have grown out of it a bit :(

sarcasm

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:58:40 GMT

show and tell

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 02:34:09 GMT

alright everybody- it is time for show and tell with me :)
Please try to contain your excitement. More or less I am just trying to get some things up here in hopes that it will make me want to make more things and put more up here.... kind of a crazy circle that keeps me making things. okay anyway... here is today's installation. I think later this week I'll post actually what I have been working on this past weekend. anyway.. this is from this past year... a good chunk from President's day weekend.
let's start the furthest back. This is a "peace tile" I made at a workshop with my friend Kacey during Art-o-matic. I'm toying with the idea of trying to get an exhibit together... but art-o-matic seemed like hit or miss last year.... so I'm just not sure if I want to do it. I bet i could whip something up in about a month... but i would really have to be on my game... anyway.. here is my tile :)

Right... next Live Nativity with NCC. I ended up pulling some costumes together last minute.. and you actually can't see them very well... but I drafted the pattern and sewed the wisemen's robes here. I would have liked to do a lot more, but i got started a little late just because I had no clue this would be the neccasary measure it turned out to be. It was fun though.. my first pattern draft and I made them completely out of rescued fabric... curtains, table cloths and other random things that someone left on the church doorstep... which turned out to be a blessing rather than the curse we thought it was when we found them.

and for my next trick.... pillows!
the tree one is from a rescued men's shirt... and the other is from a scarf that after I stitched it I realized there was a huge tear... so i did my best to do my first machine appliqué but it turned out a little crooked... still funny... but i think I could have gotten it just right had I not already stitched it together. I had done a really small stitch and it is a silky scarf so I didn't want to pull it out... oh well... it has character and is a decent first attempt. I could pull it out if I ever get that crazy.

okay... then there is Phillip. Ian named him and he has a certain Wallace and Grommit-ness to him I feel.

Next... the Dinomonster that will probably end up in Greenville one way or another. I owe everybody a package.

Ian made Mr. Moustache... also known as Bruno. I pretty much like him a lot. He's so cute!

And now.... what we are workng on and what stole our whole fricking long weekend..... the bike cabinent... I'll post more on this when it really is done... but for now you can see the craziness that led up to the making of the mammoth.

vice grips..... this is my best Frankenstein/zombie with vice grips on neck impression

yikes. Here's Amanda keeping it tidy after we roped her into helping... actualy she showed up on her own...

Ian under the basic fram of our Collosous.

Me... doing what I do best... cutting straight lines with our new circular saw.

and finally...... (drum roll) ... what we have so far. We have yet to stick the folding door on because we got the wrong type of hinges... but we will fix that.. and now I need to paint it and such.... not sure how to do that... but if you have ideas please share... I want it to look SMALLER. it is really big but it holds our bikes, our shopping cart, our guest chairs, extra clothes on thier way to Goodwill... and all sorts of other room is still left.... but it needs to be finised and look loved. :)

alright... that is what is up. I am hoping to share some more drawings with you soon. been playing with my Indian ink and quill again so it should be fun. :)
much love
B

Thinking about pacificism

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:09:44 GMT

Hi everyone. On top of my mass amount of sitting at my sewing machine and Ian and I playing DDR and trying not to eat myself into a worse winter shape. I forget just how much I hate the cold winters and all of the snow and slush. I walked home as usual today and gave up after about a block on keeping my feet dry after a good 2 inches fell in big slushy snow clumps. It was pretty much completely dry this morning... and i thought about grabbing my boots, but they didn't quite fit in my backpack so I left them (after all... I have toted them the walk to work before to end up not wearing them). It's funny because I have come to the point that laziness is a reason NOT to ride the bus... which I guess isn't bad because I couple miles walking per day does a person good... but it is just funny. even when it is slushy and disgusting i just figure "I'll be home soon.. it will be fine." *shrug*
Anyway- I got on here today without any new cute pictures to show you because I was thinking during my slushy walk home today about a couple things. First, about how a co-worker today had a really strange encounter with a man who was shoveling the walk as "a blessing" and was hitting on her and making some advances toward her and creeped her out... so i was instinctively avoiding every man with a shovel I could possibly avoid. Secondly and more importantly (not that keeping one's self safe from creepy shovel carriers isn't safe) I was pondering a conversation (sort of) that I had with Heather and John not too long ago at work.
I guess for those of you who don't know, Heather and John are our discipleship team at church. Heather is our discipleship pastor and John is our resident underpaid revolutionary. We have a big retreat for about 150 of our leaders from the church coming up and the theme is "Forceful Advance" and it has been a little bit of a struggle theming out things this year because there is such a mix of feelings over military metaphors living here in DC. Quite frankly I don't think it would be quite the deal it has been if we didn't live here... not that it shouldn't be... it just probably wouldn't be. Luckily everybody has tried to be really empathetic about things and work together to come to agreeable solutions... well as far as I can tell anyhow.
We were talking about pacifism more or less and John who claims ardent pacifism was arguing on the side of violence being part of the sinful human nature and so on... there is a lot more to it and he has done his homework... so I am really not going to go into it much. Heather on the other hand playing not only devil's advocate but also coming from a pretty military friendly background ends up asking what we were supposed to do on the beaches of Normandy if we didn't fight. If you can draw up in your mind for a second two well read people who love Christ and have strong convictions and are ready for a good tussle in the middle of a fairly decently intelligent (loud) conversation and myself sitting there listening to all of it. John promptly volunteers the thought that "what if we had been praying on the beaches at Normandy?" and Heather laughs and says "they would have been slaughtered like animals" to which John says in a very cheeky manner "what? you don't believe in the power of prayer?"... which of course is just a very funny thing to bring into a fight in a church... and thus more or less ends the reasonable part of the conversation minus some minor overarching themes flung at one another before disbanding and laughing most of the conversation off. We all know there are disagreements... but luckily the two of them respect one another's points of view.
All of that to say that I have periodically been thinking about that conversation for at least a good month now. Not shortly after Heather and I just went over the idea of pacifism which I would like to err on, and she asked some tough questions in quick succession (which totally throws me off my game). I am a little bot more moderate than John when it comes to these things as I just simply am not as far into my process as he is... or maybe I just am more moderate. I don't know. At any rate, I recognize good military strategy... I understand why the military is important to a country... I know why wars are fought.... but I still cannot get over the idea of there being a "just war." It make my gut wrench and I just have not found a place in my that is okay with war in general.
I have decided over the last few weeks that just because we had to fight in order for our country to be successful does not necessarily make it a godly move. It may make it a very advantageous militaristic move and may keep the "American freedom" safe, but I am not sure that that is even a good enough reason to claim that war is or can be right (talking about Christianity and right and wrong here.) I may be digging myself a hole here, but when I was thinking about it and how Jesus was the marking of a new covenant and he was a life bringer... then shouldn't that be our main prerogative? Shouldn't the lives of others be more imprtant to us than our freedoms? I know this isn't probably going to move anyone to action to take this practically at the moment, probably not even myself, but I just have felt really impressed lately in a strange way. God laid down his rights and died for us so that we could have life abundantly... and by that i don't mean McMansions and the like... but everlasting. My mind doesn't even begin to wrap around that at all but that is what I come to. It seems that there is a very specific difference between what is a smart move and what is a right move. God didn't bring in an army to kill all of the people crucifying Jesus.. which always gets me a little bit when someone brings up all of the battles that God put Israel up against.... why didn't he kill all of those people? I am not saying that the USA is bad but to justify our patriotism through our faith seems wrong to me, and to think that Christians should support war seems wrong. I think Christians should support peace.... and i don't think declaring war is the only way to achieve that. It is probably the easiest way... but not the only way. I mean... if i cheated on my husband (hypothetically so nobody get any ideas) the easiest way to keep our relationship status quo would be to lie to him. In the end if I never tell and he never finds out and never suspects that anything is wrong then maybe that lie saved our marriage. It doesn't mean that me lying to him was right even though it may have saved a sacred union and something that is "good" and comfortable. In that way i don't feel bad about shouldering pacifism... just because it isn't a practical way of running a country does not mean that it is wrong. (it doesn't mean it is right either but you see what I mean. Gosh... turning the other cheek isn't very convenient or a very good policy for running a country that the goal is to remain strong and un-threatened. I guess i just realized while trudging through the sleet in one of the most powerful cities in the world that the goal of my life is not to uphold America... but to uphold God and that those things are in no way the same thing. If this country suddenly no longer exists i don not stop being a Christ follower. there are a lot of good things about organized government.. especially ours, but just because it causes us gain, protects us from mass persecution, allows us free speech about the Lord does not mean that it is exactly what the Lord has in mind... it is not Him and we need not support everything that makes this institution strong. I guess I am asking what is more valuable to myself... do I err on the side of USA flag-waving freedom, or on God's will as a person of peace, love and gentleness. I know this doesn't even begin to be a full thought... but i wanted to get it out of my head. Just because something wins a war for a place that brings freedom in some earthly way, does not mean it is alright with God whose plans bring eternal freedom.
That was really Christian-y of me I know... but really am trying to still sort out what a faith means for my life and my beliefs... and how they work in a practical light. It is really hard and I get confused and can't articulate all of the time... but I am trying anyway. I feel like i keep get ripped open by "the greatest of these is love," and I don't know quite what to do. Maybe this is the same cal as the rich young ruler who Jesus said to sell everything and "follow me." I know I have heard a lot of preaching on how for us now that doesn't mean to drop what we are doing and sell our bedroom set to feed the poor... but... are we sure? And what of our brothers and sisters who we are bombing and killing in other countries? My heart aches. I want to love everyone involved.... but while I empathize with their points of view... I just can't always agree if ever.
Lord give me wisdom please.
B

A little something for the new year

Thu, 10 Jan 2008 02:51:22 GMT

A couple things I have experimented with... please be nice... I am trying out some things I have never done before.
So first the thing I am unsure about, but have learned a lot from... which is good. It was just a journal type thing with ink and watercolor. Surprise... i have never really used watercolor before so I thought I would do some experimenting :)

And something that I feel a little bit better about because.... welll..... it isn't serious scary and it is far cuter than me eating a butterfly..... (awkward)

way cuter eh?
and more to come... i just need to get on it.
B

Aunt and Uncle again!

Mon, 17 Dec 2007 19:30:05 GMT

Yay! A new baby on the Kitterman side!
Tameran finally had her little girl!
Hooray! Welcome Paige Elizabeth!
We're excited to have you here.
(Yay! So fun!)

Don't talk to strangers

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:00:47 GMT

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales. -Albert Einstein

I just thought I would share that. It made me happy.

On a completely different note... after telling my officemate at work today that I have never really felt threatened walking home at night, I had my first real obnoxious cat call episode tonight. Okay folks, let's be honest... I am not exactly Mustang Sally... especially when I am trudging home from work fully clad in my mismatched winter gear and ugly (but oh goodness I love it) bag. But lo and behold some guy being way ghetto in his rusty suburban decided to call me down. I was about two blocks from home waiting to cross the bloody street when I hear "HEY! Where you goin?" and I realize this guy is leaning out of his window and shouting in my direction. "Hey baby, where you goin?" (this is the silence that is me ignoring him and crossing the street)
"HEY WHERE YOU GOIN?"
I look straight at him and shrug and give the best 'I heard you the first time idiot and was ignoring you' nod and body language.
"Are you alone?" he yells.
I give the evil glare again and say with the most sass and annoyance (which wasn't too hard mind you) "NO."
To that he mumbles something and I continue walking nice a quickly home and lock the door promptly behind me.
I wanted to give him a piece of my mind but i think it is better to leave dark figures in ridiculously ugly suburbans alone and turn them off of you as quickly as possibly. Please indulge me in letting you know exactly what was going on in my mind though. Actually, i don't really care if you indulge me or not... because this is my blog and I will rant whatever i want.*wink*
Number one, what was he expecting me to say? "yes strange person... I am alone and willing to answer your questions that you yell at me." Next... obviously I am walking alone..... so yeah. or was it more "what are you doing tonight?.... I'm walking home alone hoping some dark figure will call to me from an ugly oversized gas guzzler proposing to do absolutely nothing productive." Good grief. I IGNORED YOU THREE TIMES.... LEAVE ME ALONE. Needless to say i was peeved. Also- I walk home through a pretty darn nice neighborhood... why on earth would you cat call a person walking home through a historical dag-gum pricey neighborhood? I know a block or two makes all the difference around here... but really... I know how much the house I was standing in front of was listed for and really..... I have a feeling that even young chubby mismatched women in this neighborhood could do better than a drive by booty call. Idiot.

Anyway.... we're weird and happy in case you wanted an update... except for when I want to kick suburban-driving-throw-of-my-peaceful-walk-jerk-faces in the shins. The end.

the hub bub

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:55:33 GMT

So today my EXTREME annoyance finally hit full boar and I am ready to vent. I know I know... "welcome back to you blog... now whine about something." okay fine. I will.
Alright first let me say if I get one more email about how any good Christian would boycott "The Golden Compass" movie I will barf on the nearest Thomas Kinkade print that I can get my hands on (mind you I might puke on it anyway.) Still... if you want me to permanently block you from EVER sending me an email that you think I might read... go ahead... forward me another Snopes article. Can I just make sure that everyone knows that Snopes is not a viable resource for things? That's like citing Wikipedia for your Master's thesis.... as a viable source.... not just as an example of a cultural phenomena. I just think it is strange that people keep sending me emails where they are re-directing me to a place that spells Chronicles incorrectly. Okay folks... If you are all gung-ho about C.S. Lewis (and well you should be... he was very good) at VERY LEAST spell the name of the literature you are trying to support correctly. I cannot begin to express my disappointment in the evangelical community when I have gotten at least 6 emails all stating that they have "checked their facts" and they send me to Snopes. All I can figure is that these people are just simply not doing THEIR research. I am completely shocked about how readily the Evangelical Christian community rolls over the very moment someone decides to throw out an email forward claiming that someone hates God. We hardly budge if we do at all for sweat shops that make our cheap Walmart crud... we hardly move when people even in our own neighborhoods are struggling to put food on the table... we will not stop to lend an ear to a hurting person (which we all are) if they do not conform to what we think is a repentant sinner... but we will get angry and raise a fuss about a children's movie that is based on a book by a very open atheist. yikes. This just scares me. Even when just talking about children's movies... did ANYONE see Happy Feet? I didn't hear a big stink about the jabs at organized religion from that. I didn't hear parents outraged by the adult humor in any of the Shrek movies... yet we have not even viewed this film and everyone is ready to condemn it.
Okay let me take a deep breath and a step back. * sigh * Okay. Number one- you are dealing with a genre of literature (fantasy) which is historically an avenue of political and religious allegory. So be it. I have no problem with parents trying to be careful about what their children watch when the child is too young to know right from wrong. I would like to say though, that if your children are at that tender age where they cannot decipher those things, or you do not feel comfortable letting them take in ideas... discuss with them... and make up their minds and trust that you raised them correctly... then I BEG of you to really pay attention to the Sci-Fi and Fantasy that they are looking at. Anything that they are looking at. Part of the reason that people like Pullman (the guy who wrote the series of youth literature this movie is based on)don't like Christians and are willing to openly rebuke your God, is that you blindly love or hate things without dialogging or thinking or (especially in this case) giving a decent and well reasoned and researched answer to the "why" you disagree. It highlights the hypocracy that plagues us all.
I know this is a bit of a soap box... i guess i am just so hurt by all of this. I am not trying to say that this movie is good... or even that you should let your children go see it... or even that popular Christian culture is ridiculous (that is a whole other conversation)... but that the mediocrity shown and assumptions made by so many people of the Christian faith in this instance is shameful. We (speaking as an adult) are giving up a huge chance to dialogue with a hurting culture of people who have been only exposed to an idea of God like Pullman creates as his "god" character... a senile, grouchy old man who doesn't really care... and is leaving his creation to junk.... hmm. We're giving up a chance to dialogue with that by blindly hating it. Awesome.
PS- Moral of the story for tonight... (and it isn't a very well tied in one.. but this is at the root of my thinking...) Christians are not winning any support or any willing listeners or dialogue partners by automatically spitting in the face of atheist children book's writers and exercising that famous knee-jerk reaction we are known for. What we are doing is stressing the small stuff and overlooking the big issues. If you are looking for the devil to protect your children from, you may want to start taking a look at the great amount of energy that you have spent protesting a children's movie. The energy that you could have spent teaching your children to love the broken, feed the hungry, and clothe the homeless. Don't be distracted... it seems the best way to keep you from doing what really matters is to keep you distracted by petty glitter, ill-reasoned accusations, and finger pointing.
(Speaking of being distracted... this has taken far too much of my energy to be annoyed at and I am done)

new

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:13:44 GMT

Well xanga friends. I may in fact be back online. I just got a brand new toy that I am currently typing on. :) MacBook Pro... woot! So hopefully there will be some new and exciting things that are either here or linked from here. sorry about my absence. I'll try to be better at communicating.

A prayer from this past week

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 18:47:40 GMT

Sir Francis Drake wrote this prayer and while at a conference last week one of the speakers prayed this... I thought it was worth sharing again.
"

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love"

-B